I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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