Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
