they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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