how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
