Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
