So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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