the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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