Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
