3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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