Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
