Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My vagina just recognized that song.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
