yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
