Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
