What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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