Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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