yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize