I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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