TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
