If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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