You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
