My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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