Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
