I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
