Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
