So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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