They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
