The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
