I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
