I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
