Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
