I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
