Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
