So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize