is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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