i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize