So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
