i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
