i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
