i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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