hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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