if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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