my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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