Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
