Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
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