How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
