There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
