i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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