BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
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the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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