Nicole vs. Life
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
