you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
