I just saw a hot homeless man
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
