Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
