sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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