Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
We got so high we made milksteak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize