I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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