we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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