I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
