I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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